A Letter To The Lost

You do this often, and it works so do not despair.

It is not an exercise at all, but rather how nature unfolds, or at least how it’s supposed to unfold. Like a flower blooming.

Live here. Live now. Breath.

See everything for what it is, see it with love if you can but never resentment.

You stray the path, like misguided sheep, and then play shepherd and bring yourself back. So it is. So it is alright.

On good days you accept most of yourself, of bad ones I do not wish to speak on such a beautiful morning.

A sign, a guide, a conversation is what you crave for, to beg clarification of your righteous path. But you forget, such divine synchronicity only occurs when you forget the self and stop looking.

Blessed are you with rationality, riddled with emotions, yes, but rationality it is, hence the last good king predicts your success. Do not doubt it. For no harm shall come from it.

How do I stress the utter importance of vulnerability?

To stay open, to be subject to ideas, emotions, people, events and perhaps in some contexts, even thoughts, all the time maintaining your position as a rational man. Alive and observing, strong and grounded, while still letting himself get carried down roads that he knows not where they lead.

Because that is life. That is how you grow. And amid security, self assurance and comfort there is nothing but old age and self loathing.

So live and breath and be, in this holy reality while you last. Even as we speak your time grows short.

So live. And let nothing take this reflection from you, for than you would be a failure. A human non-being.

So live. And breathe.

Advertisements

Is.

I have been watching and I see nothing at last. I’ve been blessed with emptiness.

Everything on my mind can and will be dropped, leaving me whole and inspired.

My resistances, a seed to perversions. Levee broken, soul set free.

I am nothing, I know nothing, I don’t have to, I am.

Nothing has been solved, just a revelation regarding the lack of a problem.

I witness; my thoughts, my emotions, the fire rising from my belly through my spine to my skull. I am the watcher. I have the power to let power go.

I am nothing.

I am free.

wpid-second-horizon_zpszjrhvcjm

 

Of Old Friends Lost…

I’ve been loathing myself for too long,
in dark crevasses of my mind
shying away from light,
I’ve let these thoughts grow like a cancer

burning, consuming, eating away
at my fragile conscience,
an ever increasing void
that brims with your sickness

i feed on what you give me
and what you give me feeds on me,
your indifference makes my soul cringe
but longs for your warmth, now long gone.

Random Shit (Do not read this if you’re a busy person who values their precious time)

london at night.jpeg

nostalgia-nella-psicologia.jpg

City skylines and dark moody clouds make me want to laugh and cry at the same time. It rained this morning…for approximately 30 seconds, but at 5 in the morning am pretty much the only one up and I couldn’t share this miracle with anyone else. Because it IS miracle. At least in east coastal India in the middle of April.

I think I’ve been trained to look for reason and logic in places where there simply is none. I understand cause and affect, but I also understand that everyday, things happen that defy logic and rationality. Like the woman who lifted her car to save her trapped baby under it. It just happened. There’s a big fuck you to logic and rationality right there. Not to mention physics.

So I was sweating my balls at the gym the other day (Ok not just my balls, but you get it), I was lifting 25 kg on the bench press machine, which was an upgrade (am a skinny guy, don’t hate) and I finish my standard 3 reps and i think to myself “Damn, at this rate am gonna turn into a monster” and bam, the track on my iPod changes and it’s Monster by Imagine Dragons. Coincidence? of course! And am leaving a little while later and I think back about this and I see this guy jogging by in a Monster t-shirt. Double coincidence? OF FUCKING COURSE!!!

coincidence-2.jpg

Death From Love Shower

She was 5 foot 1 inch, maybe 2, definitely not more then 3. Huge eyes that could stare into your soul and if you looked into them too long you, would forget what you were saying.

For someone so small she was quite bossy. So when I refused to move a couple of seats so that she could sit next to the air-conditioner, her face turned sour, her fists clenched and she called me “pig headed dick”. I think that’s when I fell for her.

I had to bend down to kiss her even when she was standing on her toes.

Her hands pulling my hair.

Her scent.

And her eyes…those goddamn eyes. Staring into my soul.

Fear of small talk

I wouldn’t say much to you
for I wouldn’t want to scare you away with questions
questions of what scares you, what makes you cry
makes you raise your fist against the skies and what makes you cringe at night.
show me your darkest corners, suffer me to pass through your insecurities
all worth it, just as long as I know you are real, breathing and alive.

wouldnt dare to disrespect you with small talk
wouldnt dare to dishonor you one of my million facades
would never want you to be anyting else

so screaming silence is what lay between us
as I contemplate how useless my everything else is
for tomorrow you might not see me like you did today
but today my esence burns for you, writhing, screaming, fire liquid
gushing through my gut, setting the rusty gears of my heart in motion again

didn’t think it would be like this
but so it is, and so it is
and love seems to have found me again.

Glad to see you

so glad to see you here,
hurtling through eternal nothingness,
where nothing was, and nothing will be
except this precious moment

so glad to see you,
we could ascend together,
if only i could cast my demons out,
we could ascend together,
expand and merge into the fabled light

help me stitch my lids together,
while i burn the wool that’s over yours,
pry open the third, and watch the pyramid burn,
against the fabled white light

but if that’s not to be
if this sacred meeting falls short
of burning down the illusion,
then let the light pass…for now,
for i am nonetheless, so glad to see you here.

The Kiss Eternal.

“Your an idiot, did i ever tell you that?”
“Only a couple of million times babe”.
she chuckled and punched him on the side.”I could get used to this you know?”
“Yeah, me too”.
She snuggled closer to him as the cold wind blew past them, and they stared across the ocean. Silent.His eyes were closed.The waves sounded beautiful. The wind blew her hair across his face and he breathed in her scent. And tried to keep it in.
He opened his eyes as she laughed out loud. “One of these days you’re gonna pass out babe”. He laughed with her. She breathed in deeply and sighed. She stared into the distance.
He stared at her.
“What?” she said without turning.
He remained silent. She turned to look at him. He was smiling. “What?”
“You.” he smiled. She laughed and was till laughing when he leaned in quickly and kissed her. “Cheap shot”,she laughed as she pushed him away “you’re an idiot babe”.
And they laughed together.