SoulKill Theory

Do you know the difference between being alone and being lonely?
Everybody wants to be alone from time to time, but nobody ever wants to be lonely.

He’d switched his phone off an hour ago. Rum and coke, cigarettes, a spliff and himself. Two hours later, head in the toilet, vomiting his soul out, he did not notice the watch go by 12:00. Happy birthday.

I saw a man cry in the rain at 2 in the morning on an empty street. I was on the balcony of a friend’s apartment and just staring out into the splatter when i saw him, he walked steady. The last guy i saw was drunk and that was 20 minutes ago, he was pretty fucked up. But this guy was sober. He stopped and held the lamppost, and then i saw him clutch at his chest like it hurt. Heart attack? Then he was shaking, and then he turned his face my way and i saw it. The sorrow, the sadness, the pain. He must have been there for 2-3 minutes. I did not take my eyes off him. His shaking eventually ceased and he was just standing there, drenched, face down. And he lifted his face up to the sky, the rain beating down on and he sighed. I remember thinking that must have felt good, the sigh. And he looked around as if to see if someone was watching. He never saw me and he probably thinks no one saw him. But i did. I saw him that night.

“Please”.
Something very depressing about begging nothing in particular to stop doing or being nothing in particular to ease your pain. Please what? Who are you talking to? What do you want? But nothing. Just “please”.

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