There is a saying in my mother tongue “kukka toka wankara”, which literally translates into ” the dog’s tail is crooked/curved/”.It is typically used in context to emphasize the unwillingness or the inability of a person to mend his/her ways and retorting/relapsing into the previous state with no lessons learnt (just how you can’t force a dog’s tail straight).
I’ve been trying to make some lifestyle changes recently and every time i fail to keep to the new routine or go back to my old ways i can hear the saying in my head. Which is weird because i don’t think in my mother tongue and i don’t care much for my grandmother’s all time favorite quote. But the point is this: this dog’s tail is GOT to straighten up. i started drinking and smoking in high school (just like every other kid) and i am incredibly passionate about anything that is deep fried and/or looks remotely edible and that doesn’t taste anything like the food that is made in my home. I also (used) to stay up till 4 in the morning and go to class with eyes red [which is why i have been accused of coming to class stoned on more than one occasion (not that they were wrong all the time)]. i don’t work out, and i don’t even wash my clothes till they start stinking (but in that matter i am not alone as the general attitude towards clean clothes in my university, if not in every university is ”if it ain’t stinkin’, i ain’t washin”).
So for about the last 15 days i cut down on the ciggies, stopped drinking completely (i know 15 days isn’t much but hey, you gotta start somewhere) started sleeping before 12, waking up at 6, i washed my clothes twice since then, and started eating the bland, sad excuse for food, crap that they serve in the uni mess which doesn’t taste of anything. Which is also what most people would call a healthy balanced diet.
I gave in thrice to the food urge and a couple of times to the sleep urge and I should probably count the cigarettes. But at the same time I’ve been feeling incredibly good. Waking up early almost always ensures i have a good day and I am never tired. My mind I clear and I feel almost enthusiastic about Monday mornings (yes weird i know) I am gonna hit the gym next month and I will probably extend the mediation time in the morning.
So basically, this dog’s tail gonna straighten up and it’s gonna stay straight. fuck the dumb shit. This is happening. (damn i miss the butter naan and the chicken mughalai so much).